


Daddy's Coiffeur

by ReePer



Series: Cychod [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Boys In Love, Domestic Bliss, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Post Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReePer/pseuds/ReePer
Summary: Part of an AU I'll be weaving for the DKBP June Challenge, a sneak peak a few years into the future of Established Hartwin.





	1. Naps are dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, I got an Idea stuck in my head. Those are VERY annoying. I wanted to stay true to the June challenge so I didn't write anything until June 1st, but now I'm spewing it all out between two triple-shifts. Please forgive any mistakes, I'll go back this month once I can get some sleep. :-P

Eggsy settled Lee at the table next to him with some colouring pages and craft papers and laid himself down on the sofa, tucking a pillow under his arm to help hold it off his already-tender chest. He'd already showered, and Roxy was due to pick up Lee any time soon now, so a lie-down for a few minutes to give his already-tired body a short reprieve after chasing his son around all morning despite his stomach flipping in knots at every little scent was more than due. Reaching into the pocket of his robe, he withdrew his phone and checked to see that Harry had confirmed he'd be home in about an hour, was just finishing something up with Merlin. Smiling to himself, he snapped a picture of Lee, who was currently coloring a photocopy of one of Harry's butterfly sketches, his lower lip pulled beneath his upper teeth, nose scrunched up in what he probably thought was extreme concentration but was in actuality just adorableness. He'd have to show that one to Harry later. He shifted a bit until he found a comfortable position, and closed his eyes, taking a moment to imagine how happy Harry's face would look when he told him that they were going to have another baby. It'd been near impossible, but Eggsy had kept this one to himself. Sure, Rox and Merlin might know (because, Jesus, when did they NOT know something? They'd both announced his pregnancy with Lee to him before he'd even thought to take a test!), but Eggsy wanted to let Harry know before anyone else knew. He had a good idea of when they'd gotten pregnant, too because about six weeks prior, Lee had stayed with his mum and Daisy for a weekend at Michelle's request, and Eggsy had surprised Harry with some lingerie. They'd both limped into work the next Monday, and persevered through more than a few pulled muscles, but those few days had been incredible. Eggsy planned to give Harry the good news wearing the original set, painstakingly repaired by himself with Dagonet's help in the back of the shop during his downtimes. That man had the patience of a saint, swear down. Eggsy cracked open an eye, Lee was still working on coloring in the butterflies, and only a few minutes had passed. Rox would be here, soon. Eggsy's eyes drifted shut again, and he tracked the sound of Lee's crayons along the paper. Images of Harry and Lee in the garden last weekend floated past his eyelids, and he found himself drifting off again.

 

_____________________________

 

"Oh. My. God." Roxy's clipped expression jolted him awake.  
"Rox? Wha's wrong?" Eggsy mumbled, swinging himself upright on the sofa, and rubbing a hand along the left side of his face. He must've been asleep for a bit, because he felt indentations from the upholstery in his cheek. Lee wasn't in front of him anywhere, and the clock was forty-five minutes later than it'd been last time he looked. "ROX?! LEE?!" he shouted.  
"Eggsy......you'd better come here.....we're in the dining room" Roxy drawled out. Shuffling around the side table, he pulled the lapels of the robe straight from where it had bunched up during his nap. Rox had seen him in worse, sure, but she didn't need a reminder. As he turned into the kitchen, he notices small tufts of fur, browns, reds, bright green (what?!) and braces himself for what he's about to walk into. Roxy's voice didn't sound TOO worried, more like she was wary of something. And anything that freaked out Roxanne Morton was -let's be real - probably too much for Eggsy to handle.   
He saw Lee first, standing with a mischievous little smirk on his face that anyone would SWEAR was Harry's and might be borderline evil, and once he saw his son was safe, he allowed himself to take in the rest of the room. And promptly wished he hadn't. The nausea from the pregnancy came back in full force, and brought with it the beginnings of an anxiety attack. Lee was surrounded by his stuffed animals, a full zoo of them, each sporting a new "haircut" courtesy of Lee's craft scissors, the offending tool still in Lee's little grip. His current "client" was none other than Mr. Pickles, who was sporting a Mohawk, of all things. And somehow, probably with food coloring but Eggsy couldn't really be arsed to care at this point, it had blue streaks in it. He was also sporting one of Harry's eyepatches.   
"Eggs..." Roxy started, taking no shame in the fact that she was sending photos via her mobile, probably to his mum and Merlin. Please God, don't let it be to Harry. "I mean, this is priceless. What happened?"  
"Rox, you have to help me!" Eggsy begged. "I didn't know I was going to fall asleep, and you SAID you'd be here so I thought.....Harry's gonna be here any minute now....he's gonna kill me. Or worse, divorce me! Rox, I can't..." he was rambling. Roxy was giggling, continuing to snap photos. Eggsy was going to cry. DAMN these hormones, he thought.   
"Well, I got caught up running one of my errands, I texted you to let you know..."  
And then, all three sets of eyes swung towards the entryway when they heard Harry shut the taxi door outside.


	2. Uncle Merlin's Timeouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes both Eggsy and Harry are away. Who better to trust with their progeny than their own amazingly omniscient babysitter/handler?

"Nae." Merlin caught himself folding his arms across his chest, and forced himself to lower them to his sides. He'd not be intimidated by a toddler, even one spawned by two of the scariest spies he'd ever had the pleasure of working with.  
"But, Uncle Merlin," Lee started, throwing in a lip quiver for good measure, Merlin was appalled to note, "Papa always lets me!"  
Merlin spared a glance to his monitors, ensuring that each of the four agents currently in the field (including this one's fathers) were still on-track. "Lancelot, you've two bogeys incoming south by southwest. Minimally armed, but keep the noise to a minimum." He turned back to where his honorary nephew was sulking in the corner of his office. "Lee, I know that your father lets you visit the puppies when you come here with him, but I caught you trying to smuggle one of the pugs out this morning, and you KNOW that is against the rules."   
Lee looked up at him, slouching himself over a bit. Gods, did Harry and Eggsy not see the monster they were creating here? Merlin prided himself on his disciplinary style and tenacity, but this .... this.... Hartwin offspring was sure to be his undoing. "But Uncle Merlin, I just wanted to feed him and play for a bit. I would have put him back when I was done. Daddy just misses JB, and I was hoping you could send a picture of the me and the puppy to him so he would smile. He's been so sad since JB went to the doggy 'tire mint farm."  
Merlin would not roll his eyes. He would NOT cave in, damnit. "It's 'puppy and I,' Lee, and maybe once I'm done here, we can use the monitors to check on the puppies, but no more visits today."  
Lee huffed out a tiny sigh, and rolled back onto the balls of his feet. "Well, can I at least help?"  
Merlin's head dropped a bit toward his chest, and he rolled his shoulders back before stretching back up. "Aye, lad. I'll just get one of your workbooks..."  
"I can help with the missions!" Lee piped up. Merlin was already contemplating how he could keep one of his fathers home at all times for the foreseeable future.  
"Lee, that is very nice of you to offer, but..."  
"Uncle Merlin, Uncle Percy needs help!" Lee cut in.

Merlin swung around in his chair, to see Percival's screen aflurry with activity. He had encountered an insurgent cell Merlin hadn't noticed. He was able to reroute Harry around from his perch as the sniper to provide the backup needed, and by the time he'd navigated the other agents into safe positions as well, Merlin had almost forgotten about Lee. He spun around, to find that Lee was sitting at his desk, playing on Merlin's tablet. "Lee, I'm so sorry about that, where were we?"   
"S'ok, Uncle Merlin. I helped you." He shimmed down from the office chair, and walked over to Merlin, handing him the tablet.  
"You did, did you?" Merlin looked down at his tablet, where Lee had left a note app open with lots of doodles of what looked like himself, Roxy, and the Unwin-Hearts, including Mr. Pickle, JB, and a few butterflies. "Thank you for the picture lad, but how exactly does that help me?" Merlin asked, belatedly realizing that he didn't log into the tablet.  
"Oh, I heard your tablet beeping with a reminder that today was your anniversary, so I went online to get flowers sent to Aunt Roxy. And a teddy bear, 'coz she is super nice and I think she'll like it." Lee glanced down, unnervingly shy and continued, "I got a little bit bored after that, so I did the doodles, but I didn't go in anything bad, I promise."  
Merlin was a bit stunned. He scrolled through his tablet's memory and verified Lee had indeed done just as he'd said. His head tilted a bit as he looked down at his nephew, considering. A knock came, and then the door swung open to reveal Morgana, coming in to relieve Merlin as handler.   
"Well, lad, this WAS very helpful. And I think such a hard worker deserves a break in some fresh air, maybe with a new friend?"  
Lee's gaze swung up from the floor to meet Merlin's, eyes wide in hope. "Can I really?"   
"Aye, lad, let's go find you a puppy. We'll figure out how to explain it to your fathers later."


	3. Foiled...for now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> um, this one is just weird. idk. I basically can't concentrate at work, or when it's time to sleep, so you get brain splooge.   
>  ::sets the thing down and backs away a few steps, then turns and runs::

“Harry, no.”  Eggsy planted his feet shoulder-width over the dining room threshold, readying himself for the battle.  
“Darling, if you’d just…” Harry began.  
“NO. This is not up for discussion.  Just no.”  Eggsy’s eyes narrowed to mere slits.  “N. O.”  
Harry drew in a breath, readying himself to convince Eggsy that this was a worthwhile effort, but he could see he’d already lost the battle.  He huffed the breath out, pouting his lower lip like he’d been reprimanded (which, in all honesty, it felt like he had).    
“Well, I’ve just been away for so long, and I thought that maybe we could spend some bonding time together with this.  We always seem to be at HQ or the shop lately, I wanted to do something at home, educational even, together.  Some father-son bonding, Eggsy.”  He pleaded, one last-ditch effort to try and wheedle this one small thing from his husband.    
“Well, why don’t you try showing him how to set the breakfast table with your 724-piece place settings, Harry?  That’s a life lesson he might actually use someday.”  
He already knows how, Harry thought to himself, but wisely kept his mouth shut.  Eggsy had been a bit touchy lately, and he didn’t really want to upset him.  “Right then, I’ll just get this cleaned up.”  
“Be sure you do, Harry, because he’s going to be coming home from the park in just ten minutes, and I will NOT be happy if you make me be the bad guy again when he pulls those sad-Harry eyes on me!”  Eggsy snapped, and then spun through the door.  “I’m going to start dinner soon, let me know when it’s safe for me to come in.”   
Harry sighed, and reached behind his neck to fold his rubber apron and place it carefully back inside his rolling storage cart, next to his gloves and scalpels.  Then he carefully began packing away the small squirrel and pheasant that he’d caught earlier that morning.  He’d have to make sure that he worked with Merlin to schedule Eggsy on a short-time away mission, maybe a week or two in France.  That would be more than enough time to begin Lee’s introduction to taxidermy.  The boy had seemed so excited when Harry had shown him the new rabbit in the tailor shop, and then the clever little lad had asked if he could help when JB passed.  A boy after his Papa’s own heart.


	4. A whole new world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle!

Michelle had a hard time when she’d first met Lee.  It weren’t that she didn’t love him, because that was NOT it, alright?  She loved that little bugger enough to move mountains from the first doctor’s visit, where she’d crowded into the Kingsman medical wing along with the others at Eggsy’s insistence.  And it weren’t that she had any issues with Harry, neither, because the two of them had reached...an agreement.  They both loved Eggsy more than anything in the world, and even though Harry was who he was, NOBODY better mess with Michelle’s boy.    
To be honest, it was that she was afraid of the little bit.    
She’d done well enough with Eggsy when he’d been tiny, and then everything had gone to hell.  She wasn’t there for Eggsy, and then when Daisy came along, she couldn’t be bothered to give her the most basic things she needed on a regular basis.  She just sort of forgot how to be a mum.  Then there they were, in the delivery room, and Harry’s holding an arm around Eggsy, and Eggsy’s holding the baby out to her, and she froze.    
Luckily for her, she faked a bit of a cough, and Daisy (who now, was about 7 years old) was begging for a turn, so it all passed over without too much notice.  Except, that is, for Harry’s raised eyebrow.  She sees you, sir, and you’d better watch it.   
The first time she’d actually held him had been maneuvered by the berk about a month later, when he and Eggsy had agreed to come out to the cottage Eggsy had bought for her and Daisy, away from the hectic (and tempting) city.  She’d done a year in rehab after the whole V-day thing, but she still didn’t like to stay in the city any longer than absolutely necessary, despite the puppy-dog eyes that both Eggsy AND that damnable fat pug burdened her with every time she went to leave.  JB was only in it for the biscuits, she knew.  But still, she brought them anyway.  This time, Harry had been all “Oh, dear, new parent” and trying to carry the playpen, diaper bag, luggage, and the baby all at once, then had just sort of shifted the baby into Michelle’s arms like he’d asked her to just hold his bag for a mo’ and then Daisy was of course standing there snapping away photos on her smartphone and Michelle felt like she was gonna hurl.  God, if she hurt this baby….  
But Harry seemed to notice her distress, and quickly deposited the bags inside the entry, then returned to take Lee back from her.  Michelle had run into the kitchen with an excuse of starting the tea, but really she just wanted a cig.  Bad.  But no, she’d given them up, here she was out in the country with all the fresh air, no need for a cig.  Damn.  She started the pot to boil, and was setting out to plate up some lemon biscuits when Eggsy came in with the baby.  Michelle tried to steady herself, really she did.  She reached further into the cabinet to grab a Hobnob. That look on Eggsy’s face said he knew what she were on about, and she’d need a bit of chocolate.  Make that two.  
They’d sat down at the table for a bit and talked it out, and Michelle had even brought out some Malteasers to share with Eggsy.  She ended up holding the baby a little bit more that weekend, but still felt a huge weight off her shoulders when they left.  Bit sad, really, because she loved having both her kids under the same roof again (much better roof, too, ta) but it was scary trying to keep herself as a good role model for the baby.  She’d had to sneak out for more hobnobs twice that weekend.    
Eventually, though, she got used to him.  As he got bigger and the boys went off on their “international work trips” she’d even taken him a few times.  It went pretty well until he was about two, and she’d left a then-10 year old Daisy to watch him in the front yard while she made some lunch inside.  That’s when she heard it, every mother’s (and grandmother’s) worst nightmare: the blood-curdling scream of an injured baby.    
She’d run outside, finding Daisy calm-as-can-be  carrying Lee in her arms towards the house.  He had a small cut on his trouser knee, and a small dribble of already-cooled blood had dribbled out.  Michelle watched as Daisy cleaned his knee up, and then took him from her when she went to clean herself up.  Snuffling baby in her arms (and a bit worried about the fact that he’d been injured on her watch, especially with her past, would Eggsy ever forgive her?), she found herself headed into the kitchen.  What was she to do now?  She settled him in his booster, and rubbed her hands nervously down her sides.    
“Right, then, how about a snack, love?” She asked him.  He’d just snuffled and nodded.  Poor dear.  Michelle rooted about in the cabinet for the puffed rice snacks Harry had packed for him, and then nabbed some chocolate biscuits for herself.  She laid his snack in front of him, and sat across from him with her own, and they just contemplated each other for a moment before Lee asked what sort of snack she had.    
“Oh, these?  They’re chocolate digestibles.  Doesn’t your da have them?” Lee shook his head no. “Well, why don’t you try one? Every good little boy gets biscuits from his gran, yeah?”  
Michelle was the first to admit she had a …. Love affair…. With chocolate.  Not an addiction, mind you, because she’d kicked both of hers and knew the difference, but boy would her life be a lot harder without her daily dose of vitamin cocoa.  Eggsy would always tease her about it, and she’d remind him that her chocolate intake was the least of his worries.  He’d enjoy a nibble here and there, but always took such good care of his body, he didn’t really indulge in sweets.  And Harry, bless him, had a waist that made most women envious.  Made sense that they didn’t keep any in the house, really.  Daisy liked natural sweets, like fruits, so she didn’t really get into the chocoholic-craze like Michelle.   
The look on Lee’s face, though, when he took his first bite through his snuffles and tears, made her think she’d finally found a kindred spirit.  The boy’s eyes got so wide, Michelle thought they might just pop out of his head, and then slowly shuttered down, all the while chewing in slow motion.  When he finished swallowing that first bite, he sniffed in a deep breath, and then let it out, real slow.    
“Gram, what WAS that?”  He asked her.  
Michelle’s face probably looked like the Grinch’s evil smile, complete with curly-que corners.   
“Lee, my boy, let me tell you about a magical thing called chocolate….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've decided to shoot for an average of a chapter a day. Ambitious, yes, but I like a challenge ;)   
> PLEASE NOTE: I said an AVERAGE of a chapter a day, not guaranteed. Might skip a day or two, might post multiple chapters in one day (like I am now).


	5. Heartbeats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee finds the baby's heartbeat bear can be put to another use

“You know this all started with that damned bear, don’t you?  I’ll bet Miss Daisy had something to do with it, as well.” Harry huffed out.  
“Oi, babe, language.  And, don’t give me the ice-over, it was from Merls and Rox.” Eggsy responded, wrenching his back around a bit to try and gain some friction against Harry’s shoulder so he could rub an itch building along his spine.  “And you know, as much as I know we’re going to have to lay down some serious consequences for this, you hafta admit it IS kinda cool.”  
“Yes, darling, I can’t begin to tell you how much I admire our ten-year-old son for kidnapping us.  Does a man proud.”  Harry bit out, the sarcasm practically leaving ice hanging from the ceiling.  
“I know, Harry, but really.  I know we talked about not forcing Kingsman on him, but I think we should open up his options here.  Our boy is bored with regular school, and if he’s got a talent like this, shouldn’t we try to expand it?” Eggsy couldn’t see Harry’s face, but the slowly in-drawn breath told him that his husband had adopted his eyes-closed, take a moment to calculate everything routine.    
“I agree that he needs more challenge, Eggsy, but we promised ourselves and each other that we wouldn’t try to coerce him into becoming a member of Kingsman.  I don’t want him to feel later as if we’ve been grooming him his entire life.”  
“Harry,” Eggsy sighed, “We haven’t been “grooming” him.  And, don’t say that phrase ever again, gives me the willies.”  He cleared his throat, and projected toward the ceiling, “All right, Lee, you’ve proved your point. We’ll talk to Merlin about your project in the morning.  For now, you need to release us.  And don’t make me get us out of here, because there WILL be more trouble for you.”  
The door to the children’s playroom opened, and a spectacled head poked itself warily around the corner.  “You promise, Daddy?  Papa?”  
Harry turned his head as far as he could toward the door, hindered by the ropes tying himself and Eggsy to each other, back-to-back, in the center of the room.  “Yes, Lee, we will talk to your Uncle Merlin about some additional training, but you must remain in your school for the time being.  Having peers your own age is important.  Now, even though you have been excelling in your lessons there and at home, using untested technology to trap your fathers is unacceptable.  Being talented and taking pride in one’s work is one thing, but gloating by using it against us, especially without our prior knowledge so that we could ensure the safety of the experiment, is both dangerous and most unbecoming of a gentleman, young man.”  Harry paused, a thought occurring to him.  “But you did have a controlled environment, didn’t you?  You couldn’t have tied us up on your own.  Merlin?”  
A bald head popped in the doorframe a few feet above Lee’s mop of slicked brown curls.  “Harry, I’ll have you know, the entire thing was under my observation and control, but Lee’s idea.”  The Scot didn’t even have the audacity to look properly ashamed of himself, although it did appear as though her was trying to fight a smile.    
Eggsy rolled his eyes.  “Alright, boys, now that that’s been sorted out how about we get us out of here so we can talk about how to use Lee’s binaural beats for something a bit more helpful than knocking out his fathers?  And, how Lee was able to weaponize our daughter’s teddy bear?”  
 


	6. Symptoms of Withrawl

Eggsy wasn’t sure what to do with himself.  Roxy and Merlin had finally - finally! - convinced himself and Harry to take a proper holiday.  After weeks of needling the two of them, and scheming with his mum behind his back, they had arranged for Lee and little Sarah to stay with one of them at all times at their home so that their routine would be disturbed as little as possible.  They’d also arranged a rotation of another agent to be hidden within a few yards of them at all times, to try and allay any misgivings about their safety (but really, who were they kidding?  Their children constantly had security rivalling that of TRH George and Charlotte!)  Apparently, as Roxy had continued her tirade, they’d also pre-scheduled play dates with all the usual families, arranged for a few hours at a local festival that would be setting up in a nearby town, and even made sure that the housekeeping service would be available to take on a few extra shifts, if needed.  Harry had looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Eggsy had shrugged back as if to say, “It’s Rox and Merlin, what can you do but say yes?” and it had become official.  Merlin had handled the travel arrangements (and put forth an appropriate bit of grumbling about being “Rex Temporalis,” albeit gentle complaints, because he understood how much Harry needed to take time away for the week, despite his pride.  
Now, though….  
Eggsy and Harry found themselves lounging along a sunny portico in a secluded Kingsman property on the coast of one of the Bahamas.  His husband was stretched out along the length of his reclining beach chair with a straw hat pulled across his nose to shield his face from the brunt of the sun’s rays while Eggsy lay next to him, sprawled out on his stomach over a towel on the sand, back pinking up quickly.  So far, they’d disembarked from the plane (directly onto their island, perks of being with the boss, Eggsy had thought), let the live-in steward take the bags Roxy had packed for them while they took a shower in the AMAZING huge shower, dressed for the beach and strolled the hundred or so feet from the patio outside their room to the beach and swum a few laps before deciding to take advantage of the sun.  Now, a whole two hours later, Eggsy found his fingertips twitching with the need to do more.  It was about three at home, so Sarah would be waking from her nap shortly, and Lee would need to be reminded to clean up any projects he might have started to keep himself quiet while she slept….but, no.  Eggsy wouldn’t have to do that.  His mum and Rox were both supposed to be with the kids today.    
“I can hear you thinking about calling them from over here, and no, Eggsy.” Harry’s voice carried softly over the sound of the waves lapping all around them.  
“It’s not that I don’t trust them, Harry, just this is the first time we’ve both been away for any length of time.”  Eggsy huffed into the crook of his arm where his head rested.    
“We’ve only been gone from them about twelve hours, darling.  And they’ve grown accustomed to our absences individually while we’re on missions, so they probably haven’t even really noticed this.  Besides that, I’m sure that Roxanne and Michelle are keeping them happy.”  Harry’s voice belied his affection for Eggsy, even though the words sounded chastising.  
“I know, love, I just….I don’t know what to DO with all this time.  We’ve got a whole week with no babies and no missions, and neither of us is in medical.  I just don’t know what to do with myself.  My hands feel itchy, like I should be doing something other than just lying about.”    
Harry rolled over to face Eggsy on the sand, and used his index finger to push back the brim of his hat, revealing a cocky smirk and twinkling eyes.  “Well firstly,my dear, we could always call them to check in, if that would make you feel better.”  Eggsy scoffed at this, he knew that Merlin would set up a secure facetime session with them at bedtime, and Rox would never pick up the phone otherwise unless there was an emergency.  And he’d been told, in no uncertain terms, that he was NOT to have an emergency on his holiday. “Secondly, if you cannot possibly fathom what you and I could do with no mission reports to fill out, no agents storming into the office, no children staying up past their bedtime to sneak in for more stories, and no Merlin in our ears telling us what to do, I really don’t know what we’re doing here.”  
Eggsy’s grin lit up his face.  “Well, Harry, I do have SOME idea, because I’m pretty sure that when I was getting my swim trunks there was something you might like in there for later, but I didn’t want to be to pre-sump-tu-ous.”  He drew the last word’s syllables out, smacking his lips lewdly.  
“Well, dear, I might be persuaded to entertain some of those thoughts, but perhaps we should move away from the sand and sun?”  
Eggsy pushed himself off the ground in a smooth move, and reached out for Harry’s hand to help him stand, then they walked hand-in-hand back to the open deck outside their room, where they used the outdoor shower to rinse off, giving each other playful pecks, and smiling and laughing at one another’s goofy faces.    
When they went inside, Eggsy sidestepped Harry’s hands, and dashed with his suitcase into the en suite.  “You just go get comfortable in there, mister, I’m going to see what I’ve got to work with!”  He found a bag with a Winky Face emoji in there, with all sorts of lacy and strappy underthings.  Boy, he was going to owe Roxy one hell of a shopping trip after this, but it would totally be worth it.  He found his phone, too, and typed out a quick message to her: I’m not checking in, just wanted to say thanks for ;-) and everything.  But give them a few extra kisses for me, too!  Owe you bigtime!  Then he waited for her to reply.  And waited.  And waited.  After what felt like an hour (but his watch told him was only two minutes,) he pouted at the screen and replaced the phone in the side pocket of his carrier, then slipped into a pair of strappy navy blue briefs.  
He opened the door, and saw Harry stretched out on the bed, fast asleep.  He smiled to himself, and pulled himself into bed with Harry, draping a light sheet across them (didn’t need to scare the housekeepers) and tucking himself into his husband’s side, quickly falling asleep himself.  


	7. Misadventures in babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy with the kids, same time as last chapter

Roxy could do this.  She was a damned trained international spy who could take down drug cartels without breaking a sweat, could negotiate seemingly impossible situations without letting a hair out of place, and regularly put all of her male coworkers in their place in any challenge thrown her way.  Helping Michelle watch her niece and nephew for a few days?  Piece of cake. Taking the first shift after the nanny left so that Michelle could get in a bit of work done? Not a problem.  Except that it might be, because Lee was telling her that he no longer ate with gluten or processed foods, so the fairy cakes she’d brought with her for afternoon snack would be out of the question.  He’d even stood there with his arms crossed defiantly across his chest (a miniature Eggsy) while he’d politely informed her in no uncertain terms that he “sadly, just couldn’t bear the thought of trying to change his body’s now-purged system to accept the toxins and preservatives bound to be in that sugary creation,” but that “shouldn’t stop Aunt Roxy from indulging” (and there was the Harry.)  Lord, this boy was eight-going-on-forty-eight.  
“Well, then, darling, we’ll just have to come up with something better, then.  I’m sure your gran will enjoy these, or I can take them back to work with me, so they don’t go to waste.  What do you suppose we should have instead?”  This was no problem, Roxy thought to herself.  Obviously she should have asked first, she’d just wanted to surprise the kiddos with something she knew Eggsy wouldn’t normally give them (after all, what were Aunties for if not spoiling?) but this was okay, she’d just ask Michelle first, next time.    
Lee showed her his preferred snacks, tucked tidily into a basket in the refrigerator, next to some of Eggsy’s takeaway containers, and trying to hide what looked like Harry’s hidden desserts.  Roxy snorted.  Harry’s sweet tooth was probably the worst-kept secret at HQ these days.  Every agent knew that the fastest way to curry his favor was to provide something sweet that he’d deny he could ever eat….but somehow disappeared from the pantry every night.  Roxy had gotten out of a less-than-ideal assignment in an underground cave with some well-timed chocolate and raspberry cannoli just last week, and it seemed that one of the rolls was left in the box.  Well, who was she to judge?  The man must work out like a workhorse, though, because he maintained a waist to die for.  Men.  
Turning back to Lee, she watched as he began to turn on the bottle warmer and pull the fixings for one of Daisy’s bottles from the freezer and dish rack.   She tilted her head to one side as she considered how serious her little nephew was.  Perhaps the play dates she’d arranged with the other agents’ children would be fun for a bit, but this mini gentleman really needed to let loose.  He finished setting up and looked at his watch (really, Harry? It’d better not have amnesia darts….or anything else for that matter) and nodded just as a small sniffle came from the baby monitor on the counter.  It was as if he were a tiny conductor, satisfied the train were coming into station promptly. Yes, this child NEEDED to get out a bit.    
“Well, I suppose you have everything in order down here, Sir,” she addressed Lee, who looked up at her with a look too adorable to be serious through his mini-replica Kingsman glasses (courtesy of Merlin), “so shall I go retrieve Miss Sarah for her snack, then?”  
Lee actually looked down at his sleeves as he tugged them down a fraction (OMG how CUTE! she was internally squee-ing) before nodding once in agreement.  “Yes, Aunt Roxy, she usually needs a new nappy before her bottle, if you don’t mind?”  
Roxy bit her cheek to keep from laughing out loud at his oh-so-serious face.  Gods, the mix of Harry and Eggsy in this tyke were just amazing.  “Not at all, Sir, I shall return shortly!” and she tilted her head toward him in a mock-bow.    
She heard him shuffle towards the counter to presumably wait for the heater to reach its ideal temperature as she ascended the stairs toward Sarah’s slightly-louder snuffling.  Just to be on the safe side, she logged into the home’s nanny cams via her left lens so that she could keep an eye on both children at once. Just for caution’s sake, she told herself.  As funny as it had been when he had ...reinterpreted Mr. Pickle’s look.... A year ago, she had no intention of giving him that sort of opportunity on her watch.    
Once she entered Sarah’s room, she took a few moments to just coddle the sleepy toddler as she stood up in her crib, holding onto the bars with her baby-chubby fingers.  Once she seemed to recognize Roxy’s face and voice, she raised her arms to be picked up, and Roxy happily complied, carrying her over to the changing table in the corner of the room.  As she laid her down, Sarah began pointing at the butterflies on the wall and babbling at Roxy.  “Why, yes, darling girl, I DID know that your papa brings only the prettiest butterflies especially for you back from his trips!” she cooed at her wriggling charge while binning the soiled nappy.  “But did YOU know that your papa used to live in another house, where he had soooo many butterflies on the walls?  Luckily your Daddy told him he could only have a couple when they moved here, and you, my lucky girl, get to see them in your room!  Now I don’t have a hundred pairs of eyes watching me in the loo!”  Finished, she snapped the girl’s tiny clothes onto her body and bent down to nuzzle her nose into Sarah’s tummy, breathing in that freshly-powdered-baby smell.    
“Don’t worry, Merlin, I’m not getting any ideas.” she announced to her glasses.    
“Didn’t think you were, lass.  But give the bonnie girl a smooch for me, as well.”  Merlin answered.  It had been a bit disconcerting at first, having him interject at seemingly random times, especially when not on a mission, but Roxy didn’t think she could do without now.    
Roxy smiled, and kissed Sarah’s head as she picked her up to head back downstairs.  
Lee was waiting in the doorway with a burp cloth in hand when Roxy reached the bottom landing.  She took it from him gratefully, and followed him into the dining room, where he pulled out her chair for her (even though she did have to discreetly schooch herself in a bit) before seating himself.  He munched on his dried-cranberry granola bars while Roxy gave Sarah her bottle.    
“So, Lee,” Roxy began, shifting arms, “I was thinking that we could do something fun today.  How about you and I take Miss Sarah out to see the ducks at the pond?”  
Lee finished his bite and took a small sip of water before replying.  “Actually, Aunt Roxy, I was hoping you could help me with a project.”  He smiled sweetly.  
A little TOO sweetly.  Roxy had seen that look before….. Oh, no.


	8. Enter the Tailor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of an era, Lee is formally introduced to the tailor shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in....forever :/ I lost my vacation, and actually increased shifts. Fun. Plus, life. But it all else fails, I will forego sleep. This is just a quick one, but it's the beginning to several little bits.  
> Also, has anyone noticed that a chapter's title can be 265 characters?!

Andrew hadn’t been an active agent in some time.  It didn’t bother him, he’d had MORE than his fair share of violence in his time, and when the then-Merlin and Arthur had offered him the tailor position full-time, he’d been more than happy to accept.  He’d always taken an extra sense of pride in maintaining his cover but excelling in the shop, and had even cultivated a few regular customers of his own that he’d somehow managed to retain over his two decades at the table.  They had happily lapped up his increased presence in the shop, and he took great pride in helping Kingsman keeping up a successful front business.  He’d successfully run the shop front for the Kingsman for nearly thirty years now, but never failed to offer assistance to the knights, when needed.    
This, however, was new.  
The small boy looked up at him.  He looked down at the boy, then back up to Eggsy.   
“Swear, Andrew, I wouldn’t ask if Merlin wasn’t calling me in!  Harry’s still in Rome, but he should be back soon, and my mum and Dais are not answering their phones.  Lee’s good, really!”  Eggsy was rattling on.    
Andrew pulled up his pant legs, and crouched down to be at eye-level with the young boy standing with his arm around Galahad’s knee (and thankfully, no one commented on the loud cracking noise his knee made).    
“Well, young sir, my name is Andrew, but my friends here at Kingsman call me Dagonet.  And who might you be?” he led, offering the boy his hand.     
The boy slowly released his grip on the back of Eggsy’s pant leg and took a steadying breath before offering his own.  “My name is Lee Unwin Hart, sir.  Very nice to meet you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it's not too forward of me, but I've got the image of this kid stuck in my head, with Mr. Pickles instead of the little girl. Can anyone draw that? I ... cannot draw. Even my stick figures are poopy. :(  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dzj7dS3m-Xs  
> I made my icon the aforementioned poop that I slapped together. Someone help me, please.  
> AND I think I've found a winner for the next Hartwin cutie!  
> http://kphphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/22-10-post/baby-girl-louisville(pp_w720_h529).jpg  
> Haven't come up with a chapter for her, yet, so no edits yet, but isn't she ADORABLE?!?!?


End file.
